Totally True News
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Google, Facebook, TikTok to Require DNA Samples
Palo Alto, California, 2026-05-15—Internet giants Google, Facebook and TikTok have announced that users will be required to submit DNA samples to continue using their platforms as of October 1st, 2026. Read more...
AI-Powered Coffee Mug Solves Vexing Mug Problems
Edmonton, AB, 2026-05-14—An Edmonton startup has unveiled an AI-powered coffee mug that it claims can solve the many annoying and long-standing problems with existing mugs. Read more...
Rare Genetic Mutation Makes Cat Reasonable
Vancouver, BC, 2026-05-13—A Vancouver cat owner was surprised to learn that his cat has a rare genetic mutation that makes it reasonable. Read more...
U.S. Auto-Makers Promote Live-In Vehicles
Detroit, MI, 2026-05-12—With consumers facing an affordability and housing crisis, U.S. auto-makers are promoting the idea of living in your vehicle. Read more...
Real Estate Agents Pivot During Market Downturn
Toronto, ON, 2026-05-11—With the downturn in Canada's real estate market, some agents are getting creative with ways to supplement their income. Read more...
First Extra-Terrestrial Message Decoded—and it is Spam
Waterloo, ON, 2026-05-08—After decades of scanning the sky, scientists have finally decoded a message from aliens. And it turned out to be spam. Read more...
Law Firm Sues The Planetary Society on Behalf of Roman Gods
Pasadena, CA, 2026-05-07—The Planetary Society is being sued by a law firm claiming that certain planet names were used without permission of the Roman gods who originally bore those names. Read more...
Clickbait Researchers Make Amazing Discovery... and You Won't Believe what Happened Next
Toronto, ON 2026-05-06—Researchers from the University of Toronto have made an amazing discovery about clickbait, and it will blow your mind. Read more...
Spat Between Furniture, Brick Retailers Escalates
Edmonton, AB, 2026-05-05—The spat between furniture retailer "The Brick" and brick retailer "The Sofa" has escalated as threats of lawsuits are exchanged. Read more...
Millions Face Another Tedious May 4th
Los Angeles, CA, 2026-05-04—Millions of partners of "Star Wars" fans face another tedious May 4th. Read more...
Secretive Defense Company Finds Missing Combat Robot
Washington, D.C., 2026-05-01—The secretive defense company Autonomous Battlefield Systems, Inc. announced that a prototype combat robot, missing for over a year, has been located. Read more...
Backlash as Victoria Restaurant Sets Lowest Tip Amount at 35%
Victoria, British Columbia, 2026-04-30—The popular eatery The Queen's Diner in Victoria, BC, is facing backlash after programming its point-of-sales terminals to have a suggested minimum tip amount of 35%. Read more...
Oshawa Man Fails Rorschach Test Three Times in a Row
Oshawa, Ontario, 2026-04-29—Oshawa carpenter Ernie Williamson, 53, was told to find another therapist after he failed the Rorschach Test three times in a row. Read more...
Schrödinger's Cat Allegedly Behind Attacks on Pavlov's Dog
Darmstadt, Germany, 2026-04-28—A nasty spat has developed between two neighbours who are descendants of famous scientists, as they bicker over the behaviour of their pets. Read more...
Literary World Shocked as Professor Proves Shakespeare Plagiarized All of his Works
St. John's, Newfoundland, 2026-04-27—The literary world has been rocked by a Memorial University mathematics professor's proof that all of Shakespeare's works are in fact plagiarized. Read more...
Dildo, Newfoundland Embarks on New Tourism Campaign
Dildo, Newfoundland, 2026-04-24—The small town of Dildo, Newfoundland, is embarking on a creative marketing campaign that it hopes will double tourist visits to the town. Read more...
Florida Passes "Don't Say G**" Law
Talahassee, Florida, 2026-04-23—In a vote along party lines, the Florida legislature has passed a so-called "Don't Say G**" law. Read more...
Halifax Inventor Announces New VR Noise-Canceling Headphones for Vengeful Neighbours
Halifax, Nova Scotia, 2026-04-22—Jacob Hensley, a Halifax engineer, has developed new noise-canceling headphones that include virtual reality goggles. Read more...
Mystery of Cat Domestication Solved
Vancouver, British Columbia, 2026-04-21—University of British Columbia researchers have finally solved a major mystery surrounding the domestication of cats. Read more...
ICE Incarcerates Newborn Born on US-Bound Flight
New York, NY, 2026-04-20—ICE agents have taken a newborn into custody after he was born on a New York-bound flight from Amsterdam. Read more...
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