Political Shocker as Chicken Crosses the Road to Join the Ducks

Ottawa, Ontario, 2026-04-10—Political observers were stunned as Egglentine Egglu, a long-time Chicken, crossed the road to join the Ducks.

Egglu gave a news conference in which she said: "I wish the leader of the Chickens, Pedro Polloviere, all the best. However, he just didn't have it in him to lead. All he can offer us is chicken-feed. Lots of his MPs have flown the coop. And he even lost his own perch! The leader of the Ducks, Mark Canard, on the other hand, is a true visionary. At his speech in Duckvos, he said: 'If you are not at the table, you are on the menu.' and that hit me viscerally, let me tell you! So I decided I had to be at the table."

When asked to comment, Polloviere said: "It's very disappointing; I thought Egglentine had principles, but no... she leaves as soon as she's egged on. As for accusations that the Chickens are a shell of their former selves, I and several of our senior members have laid that rumour to rest and have hatched a plan to be a strong opposition."

Prime Minister Mark Canard, said that he welcomed Egglu to the party, but would not crow about his opponents' misfortune "because I'm constitutionally incapable of doing that." He further emphasized his plans to stand up to the United States by "being big ducks in a small pond."

Canard was asked how he could have accepted Egglu specifically, given her un-Ducklike stances on many issues. Canard said: "The Duck tent is a big tent, and we are united. There are no quacks in our foundation!"

In Egglu's press conference, she said that she had not been offered a position in cabinet, but was learning French and swimming just in case. And she closed by saying: "I hope my remarks finally put to rest all those questions about why I crossed the road."