Halifax Inventor Announces New VR Noise-Canceling Headphones for Vengeful Neighbours

Halifax, Nova Scotia, 2026-04-22—Jacob Hensley, a Halifax engineer, has developed new noise-canceling headphones that include virtual reality goggles.

Hensley says he has long been plagued by insomnia, exacerbated by inconsiderate neighbours who play loud music and party most nights until 3:00AM. "I tried regular noise-canceling headphones," said Hensley, "and while they were OK, they didn't quite do the trick. After much investigation, I discovered that I couldn't sleep because even though I couldn't hear them, I knew the neighbours were still being noisy and inconsiderate."

That's when Hensley came up with his "Vengeance" line of VR headsets. "It's quite simple," he said. "You need to get photos of the people who are bothering you—pretty easy, really. I just took photos of them on my phone while we were all waiting for the elevator. Then you load the photos into the headset and it takes it from there."

Hensley's headset uses advanced image-processing techniques to ingest the photos of the offenders and then simulates them suffering awful acts of violence.

"My favourite is the Hammer of Thor scenario," says Hensley. "When the idiots upstairs start making noise, I put on my headset and can't hear a thing. I also see them scurrying about like ants, panicking as a giant sledgehammer breaks through the clouds and squashes them. This really soothes my mind."

Hensley says he has many scenarios programmed in already, such as "Lake of Fire", "A Thousand Whirling Blades", and "Drawn and Quartered." He also offers a development kit for developers to create and sell their own scenarios on the "Vengeance: Doom For the Inconsiderate" app store.

Maria Gonzales, a professor of psychology at Dalhousie University, urges caution. "While fantasies of revenge may seem harmless, we don't yet know what sort of damage they can cause to one's psyche. I would avoid using this product, and indeed, urge Health Canada to review its legality."

When asked about Gonzales' statement, Hensley laughed. "Oh, I know her. She travelled by city bus recently, and after suffering through people watching videos and talking loudly on their cell phones, she ordered the premium 'Vengeance: Smite 3000' headset."