Dildo, Newfoundland Embarks on New Tourism Campaign

Dildo, Newfoundland, 2026-04-24—The small town of Dildo, Newfoundland, is embarking on a creative marketing campaign that it hopes will double tourist visits to the town. The town, originally named "Dildoe", has long been an object of mockery because of the sexual connotations of its name. There were several failed attempts to change the name, but now the town has decided to embrace it.

Kathy Noseworthy, head of the Dildo Tourism Department, said: "Well, you know, sometimes you have to do the best with the hand you're dealt. After a lot of brainstorming, we decided to make the most of our name. We are opening the Dildo Sex Shop right on Front Road. We are even making our own branded products, such as the What's Shakin' B'y vibrator, the Fisherman's Lube, and of course, the Dildo dildo."

Several business owners showed support for the campaign. The owner of the Dildo Diner, Samantha Bentley, says she's investigating the possibility of obtaining an "In-N-Out" franchise to go along with the general theme. And James Gregory, head of the Dildo Business Association, says he's looking into opening a "Bed, Bath and Beyond" outlet, with, to quote him, "an emphasis on the Beyond."

Not all residents are happy with the idea. Hubert and Gertrude O'Brien, owners of "Gran and Gramp's Dildo Souvenir Shop", say they oppose the plan. "We don't want no horny come-from-aways flooding' into the town, b'y. 'Tis bad enough that there ain't much else for the locals to do," said Hubert. Gertrude agreed, and said that their 13 children and 45 grandchildren were on board too.

Dildo's new advertising slogan has ruffled feathers elsewhere, too. Residents of Come By Chance, Newfoundland, a small town some 80 km from Dildo, are reportedly outraged by the campaign's slogan: "Sure, over there, you can come by chance, but in Dildo you'll come for sure!"