Spat Between Furniture, Brick Retailers Escalates

Edmonton, AB, 2026-05-05—The spat between furniture retailer The Brick and brick retailer The Sofa has escalated as threats of lawsuits are exchanged.

Piotr Bajek, founder of the brick retailer The Sofa, says that furniture giant The Brick has sent a cease-and-desist letter to him. "They claim that they are the only store permitted to use a name that confuses furniture and building materials, and that The Sofa infringes on that trademark. I say it's nonsense! Nobody will be confused. Everyone know that you go to The Brick to buy sofas, and to The Sofa to buy bricks. What could possibly be clearer?"

Sarah Brimley, head of communications for The Brick, said "The Brick pioneered confusing and unrelated names for stores, and we intend to vigorously protect our legacy. Were we not to do so, Canadians could find themselves buying tires at The Bottle, perfume at The Cheese, and cameras at The Paper Clip. Where would this madness end?"

Some investigating by Totally True News revealed that Bajek has a more personal stake in the issue than it appears at first glance. It turns out that his father, Jerzy Bajek, was an apprentice bricklayer and was sent to buy a load of bricks. He showed up at The Brick, was turned away, and was fired from his job. When asked about this, Piotr Bajek said "Yes, OK, it was a traumatic time for our family. And maybe there's a bit of pay-back here too..."

Late-breaking news revealed that Bajek's cousin, Tomas Bajek, is planning on opening a store called Everything that doesn't sell anything.