U.S. Auto-Makers Promote Live-In Vehicles

Detroit, MI, 2026-05-12—With consumers facing an affordability and housing crisis, U.S. auto-makers are promoting the idea of living in your vehicle.

"We've had a lot of pushback from consumers about the prices of our vehicles," said Ronald Woods, head of the American Vehicle Manufacturer's Association. "People are saying that $80,000—even $100,000—is simply a ridiculous price for a vehicle. So the marketing boffins came up with a new campaign: It's Not a Car—It's Wheel-Estate!"

Woods says that he's observed people being pushed to the brink of financial ruin by the combination of high housing prices and high prices for transportation. "Obviously, it's impossible to live without a car," says Woods. "What an absurd concept! Imagine being able to navigate your city without a car. Completely unthinkable! So as long as you need a car, we thought, maybe you don't need a house or an apartment? $100,000 sounds pretty good for a place to live, right?"

Auto manufacturers are rising to the challenge, making the SUVs even bigger and adding convenience features like closet-sized glove compartments, seats that fold down into beds, and blackout screens that can be placed over windows. They are also buying up land just outside cities and setting up shower facilities and electricity hookups, which vehicle-living people can use for a monthly subscription.

"Don't think of it as a 5-seat vehicle," says Woods. "Think of it as a 5-room vehicle!"

When asked about the danger that enormous modern SUVs posed to pedestrians, Woods' response was: "What's a pedestrian?"

After Totally True News clarified the question, Woods was dismissive. "I'm sorry, but if you choose not to protect yourself by surrounding yourself with a 5,000 pound hunk of metal, then you're simply making bad life choices and deserve whatever happens to you."